Needs Vs Wants

Needs Vs Wants

The other day I was shooting the breeze with a friend, and we got to the question, “why does the Universe not give us what we want?” Here are my thoughts on the topic.

The Universe will always give us what we need. We have what we need, and we think what we want is what we need. Our definition of needs changes as our needs gets met. The Universe is ever constant, and so is the definition of needs for the Universe. Now that the Universe is all powerful, we are provided with all that we need and the ability to want. It would indeed be rather dull experience if we didn’t have the ability to want; for us as well as the Universe.

If the Universe is trying to experience itself through us, then can you imagine how dull it would be if there were no drama, no excitement, no rush, no longing, no urges, no pain, for eternity? It would be like watching static on a TV screen. Forever! So the Universe figured, “I will give you all you need, and to entertain myself, I will give you the need to want as well.” If you were the Universe (which you are) would you not want to spice things up?

In some of the poorer countries in the world rate the higher on the happiness index. In these places, people are happy as long as the basic needs of water, food, shelter, and health are met. When the basics are barely met or met in part (in deprivation), there seems to be more gratitude and self-awareness. Self-awareness and gratitude are at the very center of happiness and bliss.

In parts of the world where everything is abundant, those are the places where people seem to be least happy. Wanting to be more prosperous, coveting a better/hotter/prettier/richer girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife, a better job, better house, better car. More! More! More! And believing somehow, not having these somehow makes us lesser people. And we are like rats on a wheel, going around in circles, trying to find joy, happiness, and bliss outside of ourselves.

It is in this drama that we create the Universe finds its entertainment. The Universe is laughing its @ss off at the silliness, and stupidity because it is so simple; all we have to do is get off the wheel. Instead, we stay in jobs we hate, live in relationships that don’t bring us joy and do things because others are doing it; generally creating dram, sometimes not very good ones at that. What we forget is that we are the others. And all we are supposed to be is Happy.

We live like we are immortal like there is no end to this life/state of being. We have forgotten that we are visitors to this place, and we should enjoy this place and the people. The only thing we have to do is enjoy this holiday, play and in the play create amazing things (like children do) that the next round of us will have even more fun, adding to all our experiences. For one day this holiday that is life will come to an end and when it does it will not matter if we were rich, married, single, good student, good worker, good looking or anything. The only thing that will matter is if we lived to our fullest potential for joy, love, happiness, creativity, and courage.

You are the Universe, and the story you are writing is your life, make it a happy one!

Responsibility is a Superpower

Responsibility is a Superpower

If you are like me and read a lot of news, then there is a lot to be sad about. Massive data breaches – Yahoo, Equifax, Facebook -, shootings at schools and work – Parkland Fl 2018, Google 2018, San Francisco UPS and many more -, Teen suicide, Traffic incidents, Workplace discrimination, Police violence – the list is endless. These incidences have come at us like a tsunami and seem so big, leaving us all feeling helpless and small.

Every day, I go through one of the seven stages of grief. For a while, I felt stuck between the steps of Denial and Depression. I had even resigned myself to live in a dark world, waiting for either the world to end or my life to end. It was the most dismal place one can find oneself, helpless, small and powerless to affect change.

But here is the thing, the light that one finds in the darkest places of one’s being has the power to illuminate the whole world. The light came, seemingly out of nowhere, in a statement I read somewhere online, “You are not sitting in traffic, you are traffic.” This statement for me was the realization that I like most of us, have taken no responsibility for everything that is going on in our families, workspaces, communities, societies and the world at large.

We have been living a life in which we do not take responsibility for anything; We have just let things happen. We have for far too long let situations dictate the trajectory of our lives. We have surrendered our power and held someone/something/some company/some institution/some government etc. accountable for our situations and our lives. We feel entirely justified in our reasoning and have good cause to blame, but we scarcely recognize that it in these reasons and blames that we surrender our power. This loss of power spans the entire spectrum of our being. In our personal lives (romantic interest, marriage, children, parents, friends, etc.) In our professional lives (career ambitions, types of careers we choose, how we relate to our peers and superiors, the projects we pick, the quality of our work, etc.). In our contributions to our communities, societies and the world (our commitment to the cause we care about, what we can imagine we can build and what we create). We limit ourselves in all aspects of our lives and being by not taking responsibility. Personal responsibility.

We surrender our power every time we make statements such as:
These are all statements I have made or thought. How about you?

  • My marriage is not working, because my husband/wife is an a**hole
  • My career is not working, because I have an incompetent boss
  • My kids are not performing at school, because the teachers and the school don’t challenge my kids
  • My commute is killing me because I am sitting in traffic for hours
  • I have no control because Facebook, Equifax, Yahoo, etc. don’t look after my data
  • The homeless problem in the city is out of control, why can’t the city do something?
  • I can’t believe the people voted for Trump, and they are driving this country down
  • Children these days are selfish and materialistic
  • Climate change is real, but the government wants to do nothing about it
  • I am not included in the lunch group, because they are mean people
  • We did not make the sale numbers, because marketing/sales/product/operations sux at our company.

Do you see how this is stripping off your/our power?

I have been trying the following ways of saying, viewing and doing things, and it has left we accepting that I am not perfect and powerful at the same time. In this space here is how I approach some the above statements (still working on others), and they have left me powerful and in control of my experience of my world, people, and worker.

Claiming Your Power!

  • My marriage is not working, because I cannot accept my husband/wife as he/she is
  • My career is not going the way I would like it to, and I will work on figuring out how I can have a more significant impact
  • My kids are not performing in school, and I need to spend more time helping them catch up
  • My data online is my responsibility, and I will learn how I can protect myself
  • Homelessness is a problem in my city, and I will work with the city to solve this problem
  • Climate change is real, and I will do my part to protect my planet – I will not buy products that are not eco-friendly or produced in an eco-friendly way
  • I will try to understand why people voted for Trump and try to do something about it
  • Children these days may seem selfish and materialistic. But they learned from us, and we need to see what we can do different/better.

Once I took responsibility and started to act and do things from a space of personal responsibility for me and the world, I feel powerful. I am no longer the side effect of situations. I am now the cause in every matter pertaining to my life and my world. It has also left me being able to trust and ask for help when I need help, and more ready to help and support others.

Embrace responsibility, reclaim your power.

Post Blog Notes:
Every institution, organization, community, company, group, etc. are all made up of people. I dream of a world where every person holds him/herself responsible for his/her life and the world around.